Thursday, 14 April 2011

How to Be a Good House Husband

A "House Husband", or stay-at-home dad (alternatively, stay at home father, house dad, SAHD, househusband, or house-spouse) is a term used to describe a father who is the main caregiver of the children and is the homemaker of the household. As families have evolved, the practice of being a stay-at-home dad has become more common. In the "modern society" this common practice results in the wife or significant other working and supporting the families needs, which you the house husband, take care of the children and home. In a lot of ways this arrangement can be increasingly beneficial because if you are handy you can also be assured the time to keep up to date on the necessary repairs and maintenance around the house, thus ensuring your families comfort in their home.

 
Discuss the expectations with your partner. Discuss realistic expectations, and how to meet them as best as you can. The definition of a good house husband depends on which house you live in. It is also very culture-dependent. Do not presume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't. Sit down and talk it over. What are the things that need to be done to keep up with in the home? What are the responsibilities in the home? If you are primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, others may take responsibility for cleaning up after themselves: putting dirty laundry in the hamper, placing things where they belong after they are finished using them, emptying the trash, putting dishes in the dishwasher, etc. If you are also caring for young children during the day, you may be surprised by how difficult it is to also keep up with household tasks. Others in your family may need to help with the cooking and cleaning, if possible.    


Be loving. Love is an important ingredient for a successful household. Remind your kids and wife or significant other that you love them, often. Pay attention to your wife or significant other and children. Like say that boy of yours is dying to go to the park for some baseball. Make an effort to spend as much time as possible. If you do this, your family will know that they are loved.

Take Responsibility for the house hold! You are now the "homemaker" of your family. Being the homemaker, it is your responsibility to make it a home. Ensure the cleanliness of the home and that repairs and maintenance are completed. One of the greatest advantages to the house husband is that you can now take the time to do the needed repairs or maintenance items that would have taken time away from your family when you were away at work.

Maintain a great Appearance. It is all too easy to stop paying attention to your appearance when you have a no reason to "dress to impress" at the office. Try to spend some time each day making yourself look good and well kept. There is no reason why you cant still maintain a good appearance, even if you have no plans of leaving the house that day. Further, your wife or significant other would love to come home to see you looking good -- not dumpy and unkempt.

DON'T Forget about the Cooking! Remember when you would work all day, how great it was to come home to a freshly prepared meal. Now that you are a house husband you can ensure your family eats a delicious meal, prepared for them with love, every day of the week.

Plan ahead, with the aim to have a delicious meal on the table when your spouse gets home from work. Microwave meals are not suitable cuisine, so find a recipe book you like and start experimenting. Having a great meal ready for your family is good way to let them know that you have been thinking about them. A good meal can be an expression of love and a warm welcome home.

Pay close attention to little things. Remember family birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc. Attention to detail adds up to big attention, and you will have a happy marriage as a result.

Don't Forget the Errands! Remember, there is more to keeping a family happy than what is in the immediate house. Don't forget the important errands that can add up and take a lot of time to do. By doing one or two a day you can keep up with them, and they will not get unmanageable or take up mass amounts of time on weekends or family time. Pick up the dry cleaning when it is ready, Run to the market when you know something is needed, pickup packages and other items that may need to be retrieved. Overall, just make sure that the errands and tasks are done. Your family will appreciate you for it.

Be Happy! Anger spreads fast. Remember when mom was furious? What a scary thought! Happiness will be effective tool on your household, and will provide peace in your home.

Show Respect. When a child does something good, (For example: Get an A on a test in a class they were failing in, learn to ride their bike, etc...) Tell them how proud you are. Acknowledge your families contributions, no matter how small you may think they are.

Tell your Family, "I love you"
Learn to clean effectively, and thoroughly.
Laugh & Smile - A Positive Attitude Goes a Long Way!
Take time for your Children in balance with household duties.
Be a good example
Remember: It's now your job to excel, just like when you were committed to a career.
Try to control your anger
Be sure to know how to clean!


Monday, 11 April 2011

Brake The Ice 2: the intro...

Assalammualaikum.... bertemu kembali dalam arena blog ni. DO masih dalam mood break the ice pada tahap cuba, try, test. 2 - 3 hari lepas DO baru membuat proses menambah shout box, feedjit dan proses penyelarasan menggunakan hp. Semua perkara berjalan dengan lancar. Bagi DO semua proses ni adalah sangat mudah, like ABC. Walaupun ia adalah kerja yang sangat mudah, tapi DO telah mengambil masa yang agak lama untuk sempurnakannya. Ini kerana blog ini bukannya sebagai tumpuan utama dalam tugas2 sebagai DO.

Sebagai pengenalan DO telah memberikan sedikit ringkasan dalam profil berkenaan diri DO. Nama?? since most of the blogger have no real name, jadi DO memilih nama Dapur Officer gelaran yang diberikan oleh sahabat baik di Pekan Changloon Mr. IChan. Mr. IChan ni seorang mualaf, setiap kali DO berjumpa dengan sahabatnya Mr. IChan akan perkenalkan DO dlm loghat utara: "Ya Pak Long, ni ****** (nama saya), dia kerja sebagai DO..." hampir setiap kenalan yang DO jumpa bersama nya akan di perkenalkan seperti ini. Bila ditanya baru Mr. IChan bagitau DO means Dapur Officer merujuk pada diri DO yang baru sahaja tamat pengajian di U sambil mengusahakan tanaman anggur tanpa ladang pada ketika itu. (mengANGGUR). Daripada situ terma DO menjadi sebutan merujuk kepada profil kerja DO. Sehingga hari ini dah hampir 7 tahun menjadi DO.

Bagi DO, DO means a lot: DO - Dapur Officer, DO - Duit Officer (tak layak lg sebab banyak perabih duit dari buat duit), DO - District Officer (cita2 selepas tamat SPM x caya boleh lihat majalah sekolah DO), DO - Daawah Officer (aktiviti sosial DO terlibat dalam jemaah daawah dan tabligh) dan banyak lagi DO yang kita boleh fikirkan. Sebentar lagi satu lagi jawatan DO yang ada dalam senarai tugas harian iaitu DO - Driver Officer kepada my lovely CEO....

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Break The Ice: Bila nak mula ni...

Assalammualaikum... syukur pada ALLAH kerana memberi kekuatan untuk memulai penaipan blog ni. Hampir 3 minggu DO berusaha sedaya upaya utuk membina blog ni inilah kali pertama dapat "break the ice" DO punya kotak idea yang dah lama berabuk, karat dan lembab. 3 tahap kotak idea ni sebenarnya berada dalam keadaan yang sangat kritkal dan dramatik sebab setiap satu ayat yang berlalu terpaksa mengambil masa yang agak lama untuk meneruskan ayat yang berikutnya. Untuk menaip beberapa ayat seperti diatas mengambil masa kurang lebih 10 minit. Cukup lembap DO ni. Tapi bolehla maafkan DO kerana ini pertama kali DO menaip kat blog menggunakan idea sendiri. OK la for the newbie... dan DO berjaya "break the ice" sambil menghirup air F&N Zapple bersama ais ketul yang baru di pecahkan....

Rujuk majlis fatwa -- Isu suami jadi suri rumah, isteri keluar cari rezeki

PEKAN 13 Mei - Isu suami menjadi suri rumah, manakala isteri keluar mencari rezeki perlu dirujuk kepada Jawatankuasa Fatwa Kebangsaan untuk diputuskan kerana ia menyentuh soal hukum syarak, kata Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak. Timbalan Perdana Menteri berkata, langkah itu perlu kerana jika terlalu banyak kenyataan dibuat, ia dikhuatiri akan menimbulkan kekeliruan di kalangan masyarakat.

Beliau mengulas kenyataan Mufti Johor, Datuk Noh Gadut mengenai fenomena songsang suami menjadi suri rumah, manakala isteri bekerja yang disifatkan sebagai melanggar hukum syarak. Ketika ditanya pandangan beliau berhubung kenyataan tersebut, Najib berkata, ia hanya pandangan seorang mufti dan tidak boleh dianggap sebagai sesuatu yang rasmi sebagai fatwa. ``Kenyataan itu hanya merupakan pandangan daripada seorang mufti yang belum lagi menjadi fatwa kerana setiap perkara yang berhubung kait dengan hukum syarak perlu dibawa ke Jawatankuasa Fatwa Kebangsaan untuk dibincangkan terlebih dahulu. ``Jadi itulah bezanya, kita serahkan kepada mufti-mufti untuk beri pandangan mereka,'' katanya kepada pemberita selepas menghadiri Majlis Pelancaran Program Pembantu Pertolongan Cemas Dalam Setiap Rumah di Sekolah Kebangsaan Ganchong, di sini hari ini. Turut hadir ialah Menteri Pembangunan Wanita, Keluarga dan Masyarakat, Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil.

Utusan Malaysia hari ini melaporkan kenyataan Noh bahawa fenomena itu jika berterusan boleh menyebabkan sesuatu perkahwinan tidak beroleh keberkatan. Menurutnya, tanggungjawab suami sebagai pemimpin dan pencari nafkah keluarga jelas dinyatakan dalam al-Quran, antaranya surah an-Nisa ayat 34 dan surah al-Baqarah ayat 233 serta hadis nabi, ijmak ulama dan qias. Sementara itu, beberapa tokoh agama yang dihubungi oleh Mingguan Malaysia hari ini berpendapat, fenomena songsang ini wajar dinilai semula supaya ia tidak menjadi budaya dalam masyarakat. Menurut mereka, jika dibiarkan berleluasa, dikhuatiri akan menghakis fungsi hakiki kaum lelaki sebagai pemimpin keluarga.

Bekas Imam Besar Masjid Negara, Datuk Pirdaus Ismail berkata, kenyataan Noh bahawa suami yang memilih menjadi suri rumah dan membiarkan isteri mencari nafkah sedangkan dia mampu bekerja sebagai melanggar hukum syarak, perlu diteliti sehalus mungkin. ``Walaupun dibolehkan jika keadaan mendesak, dikhuatiri akan membawa perubahan besar terhadap struktur sosial masyarakat dan mengubah keseimbangan dalam institusi perkahwinan,'' ujarnya.

Rektor Kolej Islam Darul Ridzwan, Ipoh, Perak, Prof. Datuk Dr. Mohd. Yusoff Hussain pula berkata, lelaki yang membiarkan isteri mencari nafkah dengan niat bersenang-lenang dengan hasil pendapatannya, haram di sisi agama. Bekas Mufti Wilayah Persekutuan itu menjelaskan, suami diharamkan `memakan' wang gaji isteri kerana ia boleh menyebabkan mereka menjadi pemalas. ``Prinsip Islam pada asasnya mewajibkan golongan lelaki keluar mencari nafkah kerana mereka ketua keluarga,'' ujarnya.

Presiden Persatuan Ulama Malaysia, Mohd. Saleh Ahmad berpendapat, fenomena tersebut dibolehkan jika suami isteri saling meredai dengan syarat isteri menjaga maruah keluarga. Ketua Wanita Jemaah Islam Malaysia (JIM), Dr. Harlina Halizah Siraj pula berkata, apabila suami tidak melaksanakan tanggungjawabnya dengan sempurna, pasti berlaku kepincangan dalam rumah tangga yang sering berakhir dengan penceraian. Yang Dipertua Majlis Agama Islam Pulau Pinang (MAIPP), Shabudin Yahaya berkata, pasangan Islam yang terlibat dalam fenomena songsang seperti itu terdedah kepada risiko penceraian apabila isteri berlaku nusyuz.